A Life of Love

It's amazing the way God puts people into your life for a reason.

At the beginning of this school year (after reading the book 'Do Hard Things') I decided to sign up for multiple volunteer activities, both involving working individually with children.  The first, primarily made up of volunteers old enough to have grandkids, paired me up with a 2nd grade Hispanic girl who at first seemed shy and sweet but has frustrated me a huge amount.  Right now, I'm having trouble thinking about her without crying.  It's funny how people begin volunteering for these things, I myself don't even know why- maybe to feel like you're making a difference? when what really happens is that you're impacted even more than they are. There was a point when I considered not continuing the program next year because I felt like I wasn't making a difference, that Karina (the girl I work with) couldn't care less about me, that I had no idea what to do (completely true). 

But what happens is that once you give up, once you're sure you can't do it on your own, God comes in and does more incredible things than you could ever imagine.  Giving up is a hard thing to do.  It involves laying down your pride and admitting to yourself, which is maybe the hardest part, that you're not meant to do things on your own.  The amazing thing is that God knows Karina so intimately, that he created her stubborn, defiant, secretly goofy personality and her hair that she dyed partially purple and her love for pink.  And he knows me just as intimately, and decided, "Hey, what would happen if I put Emily and Karina into each others lives?" and has something great planned for both of us that I still have no clue about.

And then there's Wiley.  My friend paired me with him for the Reading Pals program at the library, saying that he was sweet, mildly autistic, and in 3rd grade- older than most children in the program.  In fact, while other teenagers sat with their adorable little buddies who sat quietly and read along with them, I'm in the other room with Wiley leaning up against me, reading quickly and making it hard for me to understand what he's saying, let alone try to help him read.  But then when his mom asked me to babysit, saying that he had become endeared to me, I was honored, and one day when he wanted to leave early because he was frustrated with reading and with me, I felt miserable.  It's funny how you don't realize how much you care about people until they leave. 

As a result of these experiences, I'm considering being a speech therapist for children in elementary schools after college- because once I gave up my need for security and control and let God take over, I learned a lot about myself and the roles that he has for me.  Isn't it amazing to think how through each person in your life, even if they annoy you or stress you out to the point of giving up, God has great things in store?  Because every person, including the homeless man you see on the street or the old overweight woman or the twelve year old girl in the miniskirt, God knows equally and intimately- he knows every thought in their mind; their favorite color, their future college major, their greatest fear.  So our job is to "be imitators of God" and "live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us." (Ephesians 5:2)

Thought of the Day

Sometimes life is so beautiful you just need to share it with someone else.  If there is someone who comes to mind in every moment of beauty, THAT is love.