Learning On My Own

When I took my Calculus test on the last day of finals, I was so exhausted and overflowing with useless last minute information that I completely blanked out and forgot how to do pretty much everything I had learned that semester.  I had calculated the day before that I just needed to get over 60% on the final to keep my B, but suddenly that didn't seem like such an easy task.  Going from a function to its derivitave to the derivative of the derivative and comparing the graphs of the different derivatives may be second nature to some people, like my dad, but for me, no matter how many times it had been explained by my dad and crazy math teacher (who plays math songs on her accordian and brings in stuffed unicorns to demonstrate problems) I had forgotten how to do it.  So I could either sit there and choose random answers (not an option because I could NOT get a C in Math) or try to relearn it all on my own. 

I definitely tend to do everything the hard way.  When I cook, I follow recipes to every last detail, measuring everything out carefully and cutting things slowly and precisely.  It takes me an hour to make a 15 minute meal.  Then my mom will come in and tell me that I need to use a liquid measuring cup for liquids (of course) or that I can't put something with a non metal handle in the oven, and I feel like an idiot, but then I remember that the only reason those things are second nature for her is because she's been cooking for years and has figured it out on her own.  The truth is, often when people tell you things, it just won't stick- there is just so much information going into your head every day that you can't remember all of it.  It's the same with math.  You can hear shortcuts explained over and over again, but unless you understand why it works, it's meaningless.  

I've learned that sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.  I'm the sort of person who doesn't like to go out of my comfort zone.  I don't like to stand out, I don't like to take risks.  But if I just stand around waiting for other people to tell me what to do, I'll learn nothing in life.  I'll never survive if I just depend on everyone else.  Today I stupidly touched the handle of a pan that had just been in an oven.  I immediately put it under cold water but it still hurts, an hour later.  Not that it's something I wouldn't have known if I hadn't tried it, but I'm less likely to make that mistake again, and one step closer to knowing what and what not to do.  There's nothing to be gained by waiting around and learning from other people's mistakes- not that there's nothing wrong with learning from teachers and reading books, but that's not life.  Life is going out and figuring it out on your own.