My Pocket Sized World

As humans, it's inevitable that we will put things into boxes.  By boxes, I mean limit our ideas of reality to where it makes sense to us.  There is no way for us to fully comprehend our existence, so we break it down into little bits that we can understand.  We cut our ideas of God, ourselves, and others into pocket sized pieces to carry around with us, because it is too overwhelming to think past what we don't understand.  And we're afraid of being overwhelmed.  Because if we're overwhelmed, it means that we don't know something.  It means we've lost control.  We prefer to stay in our own little bubble where we are always right rather than accept the fact that there is a whole world out there that we will never fully understand. 

And by we, I mean myself as well, maybe even especially me.  I have a very limited comfort zone.  When I say I'm going out of my comfort zone, those are still things that are somewhat easy for me.  I don't like to think about problems in the world because it means I'd have to let go of some of my self-centeredness.  Even the fact that some people might not agree with me on design ideas for the yearbook or a certain way of viewing religion blows my mind.  It gets very lonely, having this limited view of the world.  I have this sense that I'll only wear certain colors or styles of clothes, and that I'll only design my room a certain way, and that I'll only listen to certain music.  When I come across something that I can't understand, I disagree with it or block it out of my mind. 

While I think to some extent this is human nature, I want to constantly work on seeing things from a different perspective, learning more about the world even if it's uncomfortable, and freeing myself from my fear of inconsistency.  In the past few months, I've been very inspired by Bono, largely because he doesn't allow any fixed views about himself or the world to hinder his ability to live fully.  Learning about him makes me want to take risks and allow myself to be raw and honest.  I long to be fearless and have an unforgettable passion for life.  I want to be able to expand my box so that I don't bump into the border each time I try to think differently, or realize that maybe, I may not be the center of the universe.